Incacerate Me

its a new kind of depression.
the worst kind.
its unexplainable
perhaps its this regret over not doing well for the second prelim
failing math,while scoring 1's and a overall improvement in all other subjects
which ultimately count for nothing in a prelim that is worth 15%
the fact that i can't turn back the damage done in prelim 1.
horrendous.
hc rejected my application and i'm off to the place i grew up with over the last 4 years.
not bad
just that it just wouldn't begin.
i'm left here to struggle in the dull monotony that is the o levels.
for what its worth
math isn't giving me anything more than headaches
and my body is simply not willing to take any more torture
though i haven't exactly put it through much.
and there's this sense of loneliness,which appropratiely this blog displays.
for once i can fully admit i'm independent of my phone.
i hardly touch it
and no one ever touches theirs to contact me.
which is good
but yet concurrently immensly depressing.
perhaps its the same depression that has struck val.
this weird sense of urgency as to how far behind i am
but yet not being able to summon the urgency to do something about it.
i expect to be dead when my parents see that i've failed a subject i previously a ttained a distinction for.
rubbing the depression further.
sigh.
such a long long road...